For the last few months, I engaged in a process of reflection about my life and Marriage Transformation®. I have also actively engaged in what I call “striving for integrity”—bringing wholeness and completion to many aspects of my life that were unaddressed. I will share a bit about both processes and encourage you to apply them to the organic process of building relationships or marriages in your lives.
- I assessed what I have accomplished in my life so far and paused to appreciate it. The process built confidence and helped me be more enthusiastic about going forward. What have you created or contributed to others through your relationships/marriages? What are you doing that is bringing happiness?
- I looked at what had been neglected or undone and focused on cleaning it up or completing it. I put items into other’s hands that needed them or could benefit from them more than me. Restoring a sense of integrity to these areas stopped a nagging sense of guilt and feeling of burden that I was carrying around. What would lighten you up emotionally or help you in your relationships/marriages if you took the time to address it? Is there anything to forgive? Organize? Complete?
- I reflected on what I feel enthusiastic about accomplishing over the months ahead and set goals to take that into consideration. I considered both what will benefit others the most and what energizes me. What areas of your relationship/marriage growth process do you want to pay attention to? What would build your knowledge and skills? Strengthen your connections?
I encourage couples who are dating/courting or married to pause and reflect on the well-being and progress of their relationship periodically. It is often beneficial to be in the rhythm of going through a review every three months, but certainly at least once a year. This gives you the opportunity to change direction quickly before problems become entrenched.
You can also use the review time to express gratitude to each other for the gifts you receive from one another. Reflection always needs to include appreciating what you are doing well. Striving for integrity brings peace and wholeness to your life, especially to a relationship or marriage.