We live in a world that changes quickly. However, some of us are more adaptable than others. Flexibility with change may not be easy for you. Change sounds exciting and fun for some! For others, it is something to resist and dread. How does this play out in relationships and marriage?
In the early stages, it takes flexibility to have encounters or dates with a variety of different people. Getting to know them and sharing yourself takes effort and time. Having the courage to try over and over on the road to finding a marriage partner isn’t easy. Seeing a vision of a better future ahead helps make change possible.
When doing marriage preparation, it is wise for couples to assess their individual and couple flexibility when faced with change. If one person wants constant change in their life, and the other prefers very little, there is the chance of regular conflict in the marriage. Are either of you likely to change your current pattern? How could you work out living together in marriage? Is it wise to actually go forward?
Once a couple is in marriage, there are adjustments to accommodate each other’s preferences through Couple Consultation and agreement. It can be good for a spouse who likes change to gently nudge the other towards change at times and accompany their spouse in the process. Sometimes the person who prefers constant routine can offer some stability and consistency to their partner. Sometimes a couple can agree to try out something new, and the next time something comes up agree to not make a change. In other words, change becomes an opportunity to cooperate flexibly together.
“Flexibility is adjusting to life as it happens and embracing changes as needed, while remaining true to one’s core values, beliefs, and appropriate priorities.” Susanne M. Alexander, Creating Excellent Relationships
***** Changes at Marriage Transformation
So, speaking of changes…. Marriage Transformation has a new logo to celebrate its ninth anniversary. The designer is Nandita Dhindsa, www.behance.net/nandita. The company also has a new website, designed by Praveen Selvasekaran of Simple Tech Life, http://simpletechlife.in/. I so appreciate their commitment and creativity. I’m hoping most of the start-up challenges are now behind me, but please patiently let me know if you encounter any difficulties. And, please explore www.marriagetransformation.com and sign up to receive blog postings! I’m still figuring out how the newsletter will happen under this new system and how to transfer my subscribers from one system to another! In the meantime, if you see the same information twice, please see it as a greater opportunity to share it with others!
Also, I’ve done a revision of the new book, Deciding in Unity: A Practical Process for Married Couples to Agree on Practically Everything, so I hope you’ll get your copy today in either paperback or pdf form. https://marriagetransformation.com/shop/deciding-in-unity-books/ Also, for couples wanting to learn more about communication and consultation – there is a new online workshop launching in a few days: https://marriagetransformation.com/wilmette-institute/ Please register quickly, as there are only a few open spots left.