Couple Discussion: Deepening Your Marriage Connection (Baha’i): PDF


Build your couple connection and move forward in unity…

Couple Discussion: Deepening Your Marriage Connection (Based on the Teachings of the Bahá’í Faith and Marriage Education Resources)

To understand some of what can pull you apart as a couple and can weaken your marriage and the practices and support system that hold you together in unity instead. To explore the current marriage education guidance, spiritual principles, and practical actions that contribute to intimately knowing each other and maintaining a strong and unified friendship and connection between you. To understand the guidance from Baha'i sources about connecting in unity.

After completing this module, participants will be able to:

  • Talk more openly about their need for a stronger marital bond and assess barriers
  • Share aspects of their lives that may have been lost or hidden
  • Understand and agree on some practices related to couple connection and intimacy

...[T]he unity of your family should take priority over any other consideration. Bahá’u’lláh came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. ... It is important for you to arrange your time so that your family life is harmonious and your household receives the attention it requires.” (On behalf of the Universal House of Justice: The Compilation of Compilations, Vol. 2, “Preserving Bahá’í Marriages”, p. 453)

Your marriage commitment is vitally important, and maintaining it and your couple connection require intentionality. It is essential to believe that it is worth investing time and attention into your marriage, and acting on opportunities to build or rebuild your unity. “Success in marriage today requires two ingredients that no previous generation has ever had to put together: powerful commitment combined with an intentional focus on maintaining and growing one’s marriage. Commitment without intentionality leads to stable but stale marriages. Intentionality without commitment leads to lively marriages that cannot endure bad weather.” (William J. Doherty, Take Back Your Marriage, p. 8)

Dr. Doherty talks about creating an “intentional marriage” where you both consciously and deliberately maintain and build your commitment and connection over the course of your marriage through daily attention and making long-range plans. He emphasizes three aspects of intentionality that this discussion and action module will ask you to pay attention to:

  • Having a rock-solid commitment to your marriage and one another
  • Engaging in marital practices or rituals that build connection and intimacy
  • Building a supportive community around your marriage (ibid, p. 18)

Life is full of responsibilities and challenges that can pull your time and attention away from your spouse. Some days it may seem as if you barely see one another, let alone have a conversation that strengthens your intimate connection. It can be easy to slide into thinking that everything else is higher priority, and that marriage should require less time to maintain than your relationship did during courtship. In a world filled with distractions and responsibilities, it can be easy to begin losing track of key aspects of one another’s life. Couples with young children or very demanding jobs can be at higher risk for this slide away from each other. Connection is “the energy that exists between people when they feel see, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” (Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life, p. 19)

Author: Susanne M. Alexander


Publication Date: October 11, 2016
Publisher: Marriage Transformation
Format: eBook: PDF
Number of Pages: 18
Language: English


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